they said i just lack of confidence ?

well, well next monday will become a big deal for my senior because there are the national exams and i ever told you that i'm falling in love with my senior right ? because of that i really depressed and hopeless. i don't know what must i do. my other senior said that he'll help me, but it became dilemma *like mister said* and my friends also said i must say 'good luck' to him. heem maybe i just a loser that always hope but never try to reach it, well i know it. i'm not tell you that i'm crying because i haven't seen him 2 weeks yet. ya that's right ! the stupidest thing i've ever do

and today i gathered my courage to send him a message about 'good luck with your exams' *maybe you'll think i'm that stupid*. i doubt that time, should i send him or not ? but my friends force me then i sent it. i really hopeless, i never expected he would gave a reply even it just one sentence but it really made me happy, he typed my name ! for me it was really special. maybe for him it was nothing but for me it was everything

my chairmate said that i just lack of confidence and i built a great wall, i wanna close to him but i build a separate wall. ya she was right because there's something like 'know yourself' or 'who do you're' heem it's like a diference of level. i always think that i don't match with him. Allah just what should i do ? maybe i already become an ungrateful person but thank you, i just say subhanaallah for your gift these day ahaha